I don't have a car so have to get on the bus nearly every time I leave the house, usually only for one stop. It's embarrassing enough as it is without having to endure the quizzical looks and smirks from drivers when they see my disability pass. More than once I've heard the phrase 'Oh, so you've got one of those have you'. At those moments I just want to disappear; I feel enormously guilty and start questioning myself - perhaps if I just tried to walk that extra few metres everything would be ok. But experience tells me it won't.

as the sister and aunt of people with asthma (my youngest brother and youngest nephew have it bad enough that it has caused several problems, particularly with my nephew (he's allergic to things like eggs, and milk (not lactose intolerant, he's allergic to milk protein), and whole grains, and has enough attacks that they actually have a nebulizer at home (that is not a common thing here in the states))), i understand. i can remember watching my little brother gasp for air, and have to go to the hospital, and be admitted, until he could breathe well on his own. he wasn't even allowed to play outdoors in the winter until he was 5! (he had his tonsils out, and apparently that helped things enough to let him go outdoors).

i also know about inapparent (unapparent?) disabilities. my mother is deaf. just this morning, i took my mother to her hematologist appointment, and they had a new nurse, and she ignored me completely, until i started signing to my mother when she spoke to her. she apologized, and made a note on the OUTSIDE of her file that she was deaf. apparently no one had thought to do that before, even though we've been going to that office for 3 years or more.

sigh.

Damn, I missed Asthma Day. Suffering from asthma myself, I wish I'd posted that on blogs of my own.

It really is awful when invisible disabilities come up. I can understand, from the point of view of those who don't have the disability, why it's unfair to have to treat everyone as though they may have a disability, just to avoid potentially offending someone, but honestly, there's no excuse for the rudeness you had to endure that day. Heck, on days when I got on the bus and sat in one of the disabled seats because my feet hurt too much to walk further back, I got glared at by other people. It was one of the days when I had my cane, even, but the other people on the not-at-all-crowded bus kept shooting me disapproving looks, like because I was young I was clearly faking a problem just so I could sit at the front of the bus. Nothing was said, but those looks made me want to hunch over and turn invisible; I felt so bad for actually having a problem. And no one should be made to feel bad about themselves like that.

I grew up in a country where prejudice was rife, and depended on the colour of your skin, and I longed to be able to leave and live somewhere where there was no prejudice. When eventually I did leave, I quickly learnt that prejudice exists everywhere in the world. The way some individuals treat people with disabilities is a form of prejudice, and we must all do our bit to stop it.

I have never endured public abuse like you did, Yvonne, and I admire your strength of character to stay on the bus. I don't think I would have been able to and I suspect I would have jumped off the bus at the next stop like a scalded cat, and waited for another bus. Well done for standing/sitting your ground.
Love Helen

I remember once hearing a mother of a severely disabled girl (who was very obviously disabled) talk about a similar kind of occurance. She parked in disabled parking and got out of the car, and before she had time to start unloading her daughter, this one person just flew at her and started berating her for using disabled parking when she was clearly not disabled. When she finally got a word in the conversation, she pointed out her daughter in the backseat. The person just said 'Oh' and left, without even an apology.

It is the invisible disabilities that always seems hardest for people to deal with, however I almost feel sorry for her as she must have been embarrassed that her acquired social disability was so painfully apparent.

I think most people have some inability (I'd hesitate to go as far as say most have an actual disability) and I just wish they would remember them when chivvying others to go faster/be more adept/etc, besides a great many disabilities are not things people are born with but develop - who knows what is around the corner for any of us. One of my working groups for my job is with acquired head injuries - really makes you think

No excuse whatsoever for that kind of behaviour - whether the recipient is disabled or not.

I grew up in a household with 2 disabled parents and frequently witnessed the most appallingly ignorant and ill mannered behaviour - especially towards my Dad whose disability was not always immediately apparent. I know you don't have much faith in the effect of your letter but keep chipping away at attitudes like these !

I'm really sorry you had to endure that abuse. If it were me I'd write back to her employer stating the correct details again & cc a copy to a regulating body (if they have one), that kind of behaviour is intollerable.

Ugh. I don't know why these attitudes exist, but I feel (after doing my best to keep up with all of today's posts), that we're all taking little steps, everyday, to help put an end to them.